When To Trust Your Doctor – And When You Shouldn’t

My wife and I have been on the hunt to understand the cause of our youngest son’s so-called “first seizure.”  This eventually led us to meet with a pediatric neurologist to discuss the problem.  This experience helped remind me of the importance of knowing when to trust your doctor.  And perhaps more importantly, knowing when not to trust your doctor.

Knowing When To Trust Your Doctor

After our son experienced a seizure, my wife and I went on a rampant information gathering session.  Our goal was to understand the possible causes of a seizure, and trace them back to eliminate them from our household.  Seems pretty natural to me.  We want to protect our son.

Eventually, this exercise led us to schedule a visit with an “expert.”  We went to one of the most well-regarded medical centers for children in the area, and eventually ended up seeing one of the “best” doctors for treatment of neurological disorders in children.  So much for that.

We gave the doctor a synopsis of the events leading up to our son’s seizure.  The fact that he had been playing their new Wii for a longer period of time than was normal, the change in his sleep pattern.  To say that I was left feeling “dismissed” is an understatement.  And when I started to ask about the possibility of seizures as a side effect of Singulair, he went so far as to interrupt me in mid-sentence – citing the virtues and safety of the drug.

Needless to say, I was not impressed.

Now.  I am not a doctor, and I have never had any medical training.  But that doesn’t make me stupid.  When I go to sit down with a medical expert to discuss my health (or my child’s health), I want to have a discussion.  You can just about bet that before I sit down with a doctor, I’ve spent some time at least trying to educate myself.  And I want a doctor to sit down with me and hold an intelligent conversation with me.  I do not want to be dismissed, nor do I want to feel marginalized.

And it doesn’t matter just how “good” that doctor may be.  After all, no one can know everything, as evidenced by some of the recent things learned about surprising hearing loss causes.

Why?  Because I have little faith in a supposed “expert” who doesn’t have the patience to explain his logic to me.  And, I’ve done enough research to know that modern medicine doesn’t fully understand all the possible causes of a seizure.  Not even close.  And any doctor that pretends they do immediately loses all credibility.  After all, how can you trust your doctor, when they’re unwilling to educate you, or admit to their failings?

By contrast, when we took our son to his pediatric pulmonologist to discuss our questions about possible side effects of Singulair, he came right out and said that Singulair is generally considered safe.  But, we have a common link between a relative with seizures that also takes Singulair.  In his words, “Anything is possible.  Since its a concern, if he doesn’t need the drug, we should eliminate it.”  After some tests, we took him off the Singulair, and go for a follow up later this Spring.

This is the type of relationship one should have with their doctor.  This was a very positive discussion, where the doctor sat down with us and addressed our questions and concerns, treating us as the intelligent people we are.

To be completely fair, what I expected from our visit to the neurologist was to be put in a “watch and wait” mode.  A single seizure does not usually lead to anti-convulsant medication.  The purpose was to open a dialogue and build relationship with a specialist, should this situation progress further.  Unfortunately, what I learned, was that however wonderful this doctor may be, he is not a doctor in whom I would place my trust.

So, how do you know when you can’t trust your doctor?

If a doctor can’t address the needs of their patient, it may be time to look elsewhere.  To me, a doctor that is unwilling to sit down and have a dialogue to answer my questions is either a) too busy to take on another patient, or b) lacks confidence in their own ability to properly diagnose a condition.  Neither of those possibilities give me faith in their ability to provide proper treatment.