Making The Choice Of Happiness

I listened to an interesting podcast the other day on making the choice of happiness.  They were interviewing a researcher who had spent a great deal of his career studying the subject of happiness.  How happiness affects our lives, our pursuit of happiness, and the end results.

Making The Choice Of Happiness

After studying the subject of happiness in many different cultures, there were several interesting things the researcher noted.  Some of them are as follows:

• Americans spend more time thinking about happiness than people in many other cultures
• Married couples generally report being “happier” than singles
• Married couples generally report experiencing the greatest amount of happiness early in their relationships, with a gradual decline, followed by a later upswing

At this point, the researcher made an assertion that I simply don’t agree with.  He went on to assert that people with kids report “…declining levels of happiness through the teenage years, followed by an upswing…”

That smacks too much to me like blaming your kids for being unhappy – an idea I simply can’t buy.

OK – So what makes sense?

For many couples, some of the years of greatest social and personal pressures fall at, or around, the ages of 40-50.  This is a time in life of great change – at both a personal and professional level.

According to a friend of mine – its a time when “…everything starts to fall apart…”

Sounds rather inauspicious to me, since I’m sneaking up on 40.

And yes – its also about the time kids start hitting the teenage/college years.  So, there’s a lot of pressure.

But to blame levels of happiness on the kids just seems – well, wishy washy.

Putting that aside, there are also a huge number of health benefits that people have been proven to derive from having children.  Studies have shown that raising children can help lower high blood pressure.  Men who have children have lower mortality rates.  The list goes on, and on.

That’s not to say that having kids is easy – or a panacea.  Raising kids is very hard work, and takes tremendous dedication.  So, I would never suggest someone in a marginal relationship make the choice to have kids.  You need to be right with yourself and your spouse before making that commitment.

I tend to be of the mindset that making the choice of happiness is something each of us must do every day.  We may not always like our situation.  Heck, we may even want to change it.  But that doesn’t mean we need to run around being miserable.

And don’t blame your kids.

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