How To Avoid Disappointment And Find Contentment In Life

Have you ever worked hard to achieve a goal, or been excited about something new, only to have it end in disappointment, once you achieve the fruits of your labor?

This is one of my little boys.  We told the kids we were going to the beach 8 weeks in advance of a trip.  The youngest almost immediately started counting down the days.  He pulled out the calendar and marked them off, and talked about all the fun he was going to have almost incessantly.  Needless to say, he was excited.

This was the reaction when we finally reached nirvana.  There was record heat, the shells on the beach were very sharp, sharks had been sighted in the water, and several people had been stung by jellyfish.  I think you can tell from his body language how he felt about his dream vacation.

Watching him deal with this disappointment got me thinking about how common this sort of behavior can be, among kids and  adults alike.  How common is it for someone to set a goal and pursue it with single-minded purpose, only to be disappointed when they achieve the fruits of their labor?  I watch my friends and co-workers cycle through this behavior with alarming frequency, and it seems to happen almost without their active involvement.  It happens in careers, retail purchases, relationships, and even – vacations.  So, how can we avoid the cycle of disappointment?

Prepare A Road Map

Take the time, once a year, to sit down and write goals for yourself.  The process of goal writing demands the  thoughtful consideration of  your values.  It provides a framework for making decisions throughout the year.  And make no mistake about it, opportunities will come your way.  Having taken the time to consider the direction you want your life to take will lay the groundwork for making choices that could impact you for years.

Consider the Downsides

Quite often, opportunities are presented to us and we only take the time to consider the positives.  When we told our son about the beach, all he could think about was playing in the waves.  He neglected to consider the fact that going south also meant more heat, or that oceans contain wildlife, too.

As adults, we often engage in the same behavior.  The idea of moving for that higher paying new job sounds great, but make sure you consider the potential sacrifice in lifestyle, friends, and family before signing on the dotted line.  Otherwise, you could find yourself disillusioned with the lack of free time that you so sorely cherished.

Seek Counsel

Each of us have people in our lives whose judgement we trust and cherish.  These may include your spouse (hopefully), friends, family, co-workers, religious leaders, etc.  Seek them out and discuss your choices with them.  If you value their opinions, trust them to provide you with input that can help shape your decisions.  Even if you disagree with their opinion, it’s valuable input, provided without the bias of being enmeshed in what may sound like a great opportunity.

Choose To Find Contentment

The end to the story about my son, was that he had a great time playing on the beach.  After he got over the initial realization that stepping on the sand did not force the heavens to open and angels to sing joy to the world, he found contentment in playing on the edge of the water, building sandcastles and rolling in the surf.

As adults, we can learn from this, as well.  When opportunites don’t turn out as you expect, seek out ways to find contentment within the confines of your situation.  Ever cloud does have a silver lining, and if you’ve stepped into a situation expecting one thing and ended up with another, chances are good, that with a little work, you can find contentment.

So, how about you?  Have you ever built up an opportunity in your mind, expecting it to be the greatest thing in the world, only to find things didn’t work out as you wanted?  If so, how did you deal with it?

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