What Would My Life Be Like If…

Written by Greg

Have you ever asked yourself the question, “What would my life be like if …”. It turns out that the old adage that happiness can be found by “counting your blessings” is incorrect. In reality, people find greater happiness and satisfaction by imagining that a positive event never occurred.

Here’s the scenario. Begin by picturing a positive event in your life. Maybe it’s your first meeting your spouse or the birth of your child. Then ask yourself “what would my life be like if it had never happened?” Psychologists have discovered is that this process actually produces a greater sense of happiness than a person gets from dwelling on the positive event itself.

what would my life be like if I made different choices

Photo Credit Jurvetson

At first glance, this idea seems counterintuitive. After all, other work has shown that engaging in activities such as expressing gratitude, or writing a gratitude letter can actually reduce the effect of negative emotions. So why would we dwell on a loss? Because the process actually makes us consider what life would be like without those experiences. That’s the rationale. The key here is to focus on a positive event. Not a negative event.

Now, we know people that dwell on all the things they believe they’ve missed out on. Decisions they regret, or things they wish they had done differently. To be honest, I don’t get this. But, I also tend to be a pretty positive person, and generally pretty happy. There’s some speculation that people who are generally “less happy” respond differently to this sort of mental exercise.

I guess the point of this is that we all have days when we just want to kick the dog and bite head off everyone around us. Days when we’re just plain grumpy, sad, or generally difficult to be around. When that happens, we tend to take it out on the people closest to us, which is totally counterproductive. Now we know that there are ways to consciously change your feelings of happiness and gratitude. Don’t count your blessings. Imagine how it would be if they had never occurred.