Beware The Female Fitness Guru

Ladies, please don’t be offended, but this is aimed squarely at the guys out there.  Guys, be warned.  Beware the 20-something teeny-bopper female fitness guru.  When she sidles up to you, all smiles, you are likely being set up.  The only questions is – how?

The Female Fitness Guru Intercedes

I knew I was going to be rushed during my workout today.  As many of you know, I usually work out over my lunch break, and I also had an errand to do after my workout.  So, needless to say, I was in a hurry.  With that in mind, I was on a mission.  So, when one of the 20-something fitness instructors waved to me from across the gym and made a beeline in my direction, I thought — “I’m.  In.  Trouble.”

Now, in her defense, I feel compelled to point out that she’s a very nice, very sweet person.  I say this because, being a friend of my wife’s, I know it to be true.  I have also had the privilege of observing her whilst functioning in her role as a personal trainer.  Judging from the behavior of her clients, in that capacity, she has the pity of a demon.

Although she’s a friend of my wife’s, we generally don’t talk much.  Why?  Because when I see her, she’s working, so I try to respect that.  So, it was abnormal for her to be heading in my direction, all smiles.  Not to mention she had another of her nubile fitness gurus in tow.  They both wanted to know if I was going to participate in their “Bench Off.”  Suspecting trouble, I asked them to describe this event.  That’s when they went on at length to describe how every participant was supposed to bench press their weight (or 1/2 their weight for the ladies), as many times as possible.  Interspersed among the description was “…it’s for a good cause…” and “…it’s to help cancer…”

I considered participating for all of a half-second.  As they stood there, all smiles I noted the “competition area.”  There were a group of guys waiting to take their turn, and as I watched, the one on the bench nearly dropped the bar on himself.  I passed, begging off on the shortage of time, and the fact that “I suck at bench presses.”  (Yes, I did say that.)  They wandered off in search of new prey, but obviously disgruntled by being rebuffed.  But, as I watched, some of the guys getting involved were trying to handle far more weight than I usually see them put on the bar.  Hmmm…

Unfortunately for us guys, some things never change.  We will almost always try to impress a woman, even if its subconsciously.  What better place than a testosterone-laden gym to do something silly.  As I watched, some of the guys getting in on the action were definitely toeing that line.  I’m certainly not the first guy to do something stupid when I knew there was a woman watching.  But as I went through my routine, I couldn’t help chuckling to myself.  Maybe – just maybe – I’m getting a little wiser.

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